Whether you want to get a promotion, engage people, or get someone invested in your idea, I would like to share some advice that I think is often overlooked in the working world.
It is especially useful for introverts or other quieter people who don’t like to aggressively self-promote or assert themselves.
It’s the concept of matching outcomes based on the book “Influencing with integrity” by Genie Z. Laborde.
The idea is very simple, but very few people seem to consider it when trying to get what they want.
But first, what is an outcome?
An outcome is a positive and specific result a person wants, which sounds very similar to a goal. But a goal is more about the desired result itself. E.g., getting promoted by the end of the year.
An outcome, on the other hand, is about how the accomplishment of the goal will make you feel. For example, you will feel more appreciated at work once you have been promoted.
How do you match outcomes?
1. Define your outcome.
The first step is to define your outcome for yourself. Let’s just stick to the example of the promotion in order to feel appreciated for your hard work.
The next step is where it gets interesting.
A lot of people work their butt off, they self-promote, they may even speak over others in the desperate attempt to be noticed.
But what they don’t do, is matching outcomes.
2. Consider the others.
Matching outcomes is taking into consideration what the people around you want.
It could be your team mates or, like in our case, your manager.
In her book, influencing with integrity, Genie Laborde talks about how manipulating is acting without regard for others’ outcomes, and how others want to feel.
This is why, the next step should be to consider your manager and her outcome.
Maybe you’ll find, that all she wants is to be respected by her team.
This will also mean that talking over her will not help with your promotion but potentially do the opposite.
A very simple but profound fact to keep in mind is that the easiest way to get your outcome is to have everyone involved achieve their outcome as well.
Otherwise, people are much less likely to support your cause, and might even sabotage you, in case you work against them.
I love the idea of matching outcomes, because I think that it makes us be a lot more considerate of other people, and try to find the best solution for everyone.
But how exactly do you do it?
3. Get to know people on a personal level.
The only way to match outcomes is to take the time to get to know and be interested in understanding people.
In order to be interesting, you need to be interested.
Dale Carnegie
What a lot of our workplaces are missing is empathy, time, and the willingness to get to know people on a more personal level.
Everyone seems to be trying to keep up the professional facade, where showing weaknesses, insecurities, or our true wants and needs is simply not an option.
But everyone has them.
I think it’s worth being interested in people, asking questions, and keeping everyone’s interest in mind when going for your outcomes.